It was over 2 years ago that I first dreamt of creating an organisation where I could work creatively in the areas I am passionate about, in accordance with my personal values and vision.

Combining purpose and values with profit is certainly something I aspire to and believe in but it is challenging work. I have taken some big steps but recently things seemed to be stalling. The vision was still clear to me but the path to get there a little blurry.

So I decided to practice what I preach and take some time out to reflect on how things were going. I wish I had done it earlier because it has given me great insight into the limiting fears and beliefs that have been holding me back. This is the first (and in my mind the most crucial) of several key obstacles I identified.

#1 FACING UP TO YOUR OWN FEARS AND DOUBTS

I am generally a confident, out-going person who believes strongly in my abilities but I have to say, when the going gets tough that little devil still appears on my shoulder occasionally and screams 'this is never going to work, it's too hard - give it up and get a real job!' The time spent reflecting on my fears about getting this business going has helped me to confront some important things about myself. I realized that I have a strong attachment to being 'successful' in other peoples' eyes. I worry far too much about what others think and I am afraid of being judged. In the past this has stopped me from reaching out to people and telling them about myself. One thing is certain - you can't run a sustainable business if you aren't prepared to fully commit, to believe in yourself and to spread the word about what you have to offer.

So what am I going to do about it? I reckon these types of realizations are just another step in a life-long journey of learning to live with my own insecurities and quirks. For me it's not about conquering or overcoming my fears and doubts but about accepting them, even celebrating them, as a part of who I am and learning to live alongside them. Sure, doubts are going to creep in every now and then but I know there are ways that I can quiet them down and move forward. Instead of keeping silent and in effect hiding who I am, I intend to speak up and be honest about what I stand for and what I have to offer. One of the ways I am doing this is through this blog. I'm making a conscious effort to hand out my business cards and start conversations about what I do. I have created my first newsletter, which I am sending out to absolutely everyone that I know. I'm working on my meditation practice because it helps me to stay positive, grounded and confident in my abilities. And I am choosing to surround myself with friends and mentors that support and encourage me.

Facing a different kind of fear! Climbing Crib Goch (Wales) this April

I know that as we speak, there are thousands of people out there embarking on a similar journey to me, or thinking of it. They are choosing to make a big life change, to try a different career, leave a relationship, act on an idea they've had, or leave their job to strike out on their own and become a business or social entrepreneur. Theirs are the kind of stories that inspire me and keep me going. I hope that by sharing in my journey you may also find some inspiration, ideas, tools or perhaps even laughter to share in.

Read about the other obstacles to business success that I am grappling with in the next Holistica newsletter -  perhaps less profound and more practical, but useful all the same!

P.s. I am new to this writing stuff, If you enjoyed the newsletter and/or this entry please leave a comment to say so! Likewise if you have suggestions, ideas or feedback get in touch, I'd love to hear from you.